I was always a teensy bit skeptical about Greek yogurt — I mean, what exactly made it “Greek?” I was dubious. So, every week when I’d do my grocery shopping, I’d skip by the Greek yogurt and focus on what I knew: Yoplait light. It was simple, came in about 50,204 flavors, and it always did me right.
But then I started seeing Greek yogurt in recipes, and I noticed that it was fat-free (but packed with protein), and people started talking about how! amazingly! awesome! it was. I figured it was time to bite the bullet and throw my picky food tendencies out the window and give it a whirl. On my next shopping excursion, I picked up a container of Yoplait Greek yogurt.
BIGGEST (YOGURT) MISTAKE EVER.
That yogurt tastes like devil’s venom that has been bottled up and microwaved on high power for 40 hours and then refrigerated. It’s ridiculously sour and not at all appealing. I wondered how anyone could eat such a foul-tasting food. What’s worse than the taste, though? The lid of the container proudly proclaiming: “LUSCIOUS fruit on the bottom!” I HATE THE WORD “LUSCIOUS.” HATE. Suffice to say after two spoonfuls (I only gave it 2 to see if I hadn’t stirred it up all the way – I HAD) it went into the garbage.
I switched back to my Yoplait light for a couple of weeks, but still saw people’s glowing reviews of the Greek stuff – HOW? HOW DO YOU PEOPLE LIKE TO EAT SOMETHING THAT TASTES SO VILE? But then I realized that they were talking about a brand name: Chobani.
You know the drill: next time I was grocery shopping, I picked some up. I did balk a little bit at the price (I mean, really? $1.79 per cup?) but put one in my cart nonetheless. The next day I opened it, stirred it up, and tried it.
AND THE HEAVENS OPENED AND CHERUBS SANG AND IT WAS AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS.
It was like a whole new world of Greek yogurt.
I’m pretty sure they were talking about Chobani. Maybe not, though. I guess I should mention that this post is definitely not sponsored by Chobani – although if they’d like to send me some yogurt, I’m totally game.
Anyway, I bought the Chobani for a few weeks and all was right in my little yogurt eating world. Then, one day at the grocery store they were OUT of Chobani. COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY OUT. Right next to the Chobani section, though, was the Yoplait that I loathed. It was fully stocked (coincidence? I think not.) and it was on sale. I also noticed that the cups proclaimed: “Now better tasting!” IT HAD BETTER TASTE BETTER THAN THAT DEVIL’S VENOM YOU GUYS WERE PACKAGING A FEW WEEKS BACK, YOPLAIT. Against my better judgment (and without Chobani in stock) I put 5 cups in my cart – enough for one week.
BIGGEST (YOGURT) MISTAKE EVER X 2.
It did not taste better. It tasted exactly the effing same. EXACTLY. What’s worse? I was brought up to not waste food, so I suffered through every single one of those venom filled cups for an entire week. This morning I had my Chobani. It was perfectly delicious. All is right with my yogurt world once again.
And yes, I just wrote an entire post about Greek yogurt. I guess I’m harkening back to the time I wrote an entire post about my nails.